Good evening my Corona friends and I hope you all had a glorious Memorial Day weekend and thought about all you sacrificed for us to be on this planet. I was on a walk with my roommate this evening and stopped to observe all the flags planted and what a nice tribute to those fallen. But I wonder about what a messed-up world we live in with all that has happened in the last few weeks and what is to come, and how the Fuck did we get here? Sorry, but the times call for harsh language and nobody cares. Memorial Day has become about Mattress and Car sales, and squeeze in a little reverence. We have just spent the last few years living through a Pandemic where everything became politicized and a million people died. But God forbid our kids may be traumatized from wearing a mask, but mass shootings don’t register on the radar of the Second Amendment and our right to bear a Bazooka. But have no fear because the cure is coming and it is called the Monkey Pox and it sure isn’t pretty, maybe that will scare some. Next thing you know they will be rounding up all the Monkeys and saying it is a left-wing conspiracy to take away our guns.
Funny how we can have all these horrible things happen in ten days and then the sun comes out and at least here we could enjoy a beautiful weekend. We are all suffering from Covid fatigue and really have no patience for it at this juncture, but meantime everyone is getting it. Techie and I have stayed clear so far but honestly, sometimes I just wish I could get it over with and move on. I know so many people who have done everything to stay safe and they came down with it, now I wonder f it is worth trying to avoid it and just stop worrying about it, but there is the Monkey Pox right in front of us.
Techie and I like to wander the city and now that we quit the food boxes for the summer, we have to look for new places to feed us that won’t break the bank. We like to poke into places and see if we can find a seat at the bar, because we never have a resy, and if nothing else right now people like to eat out. Ultimately, I end up chatting with the person sitting next to me and sometimes I just can’t keep my mouth shut. We were having some chowder and wine at a place nearby and struck up a conversation with a woman next to me, and couldn’t help but ask her if she was on a match.com, and yes, she was and having a lovely time. Then I overheard her date tell her about you he likes to get his news from and he liked Tucker Carlson, when he went to the restroom, I told her to run away fast and even gave her my number if she needed a place to stay that night since she was from out of town. She laughed and said yes there won’t be a second date but I couldn’t shake it off, why are people so stupid and don’t they know it is only about the Benjamins? He will say anything to get the ratings and the Money.
I really didn’t want to be so morose in my rant tonight as I want to try and be more positive but I feel we are living in an alternate universe and worry about my grandchildren. Do we really have to arm the schools and more security? Living in lockdown for the past few years and now when it may be safe to come out it all turns to shit.
Tomorrow I am going to encourage more young people to run for office and get rid of all these old white men that determine our future. I have been asking my daughter to do it for a while now, and I get it to try working with kids sometimes at home, sometimes in school, daycare closed because of Covid, and just trying to live life.
Please anyone under 50 and especially women run for something anything just get these old guys gone.
Good evening my Corona friends. I assume we are all doing well, but you know what they say about to assume is to make an ass out of u and me. I will just have to trust that we are all doing well enough to go out and live. The good news to report is Techie is back from his 3-week journey and he survived the covid testing to get off a few islands, although not all can be said for two of the sailors. They tested positive and had to wear red armbands while in quarantine. Another benefit of covid is we get to relive the scarlet letter, sounds like a good idea maybe we can band the anti-vaxers. Well, I am just in too good a mood to even go down that rabbit hole, as I just pulled off the biggest surprise of Techies life with a super surprise birthday bash this weekend. You all know that I have a severe handicap with technology, and I have a lot of enablers that keep me that way, but I did rely on my kids, Max and Erica to do the Evite and manage it. Well, the first thing is I had to get them the emails and most of the time something was a bit off, and they were rejected, but maybe on the third try it was a go. Max kept sending it over to me when I asked about the RSVP and he would send it over but I could never open it or figure it out. Luckily, they just very patiently ignored me and assured me it was all set. When it came to giving a final count to the catering my 40 people went to 70 and I had no idea how that happened, but it all worked out in the end. I know the club was a bit annoyed when I jumped the number on Tuesday for a Friday night party, as the food was ordered and planned but I told her if there was an issue, I could vouch for 10 people that would not eat, I don’t think she got the joke, didn’t see Father of the Bride. Planning a surprise party in just a few short weeks can be crazy anyway but was fortunate not to have my roommate home which did make it a bit easier. He was only here a few days before the family and friends arrived from out of town. His younger brother and sister-in-law came in from Houston and Roz and Ed from South Carolina all ensconced in a hotel a few streets behind us here in the city. I was going out on walks after 9 pm to check on a few things in the car or at the store and he never asked what took so long. It was so much fun I was in one of my Brit Box movies trying to be so stealthy and really believing I could go undercover. I was never so happy to walk through those doors and everyone yell surprise and could breathe as the gig was up.
Honestly, it was just so wonderful to be together with so many friends and family after having had to live in so many quarantines these past few years. We really never got to celebrate Techie’s retirement; did I mention I am the sole support of the family? I am so grateful to not have a new variant pop up the week before, although there may have been one, we are choosing to ignore it. All double vaxxed and waxed. I hope I don’t find that I was the host of a super spreader, like the gridiron dinner at the Whitehouse last week, and as long as we are all OK it will be worth it.
We have to go back to living our best life, as it doesn’t last forever. Techie is always busy and doesn’t know how he had time for work before, me I worry about staying home on the couch watching my murder shows and eating Bon Bons.
Good evening my Corona friends and hope everyone is doing well, I just heard the news flash Tom Brady is coming out of his self-imposed retirement I guess he saw the future of how much he was going to have to pay for college for his kids, and giving for inflation better throw a few more balls. Whatever, can’t even begin to feel his pain with what is going on in the world today, with the poor people of Ukraine, yet we still have an Ex-president nutcase holding rallies about a stolen election. Anyway, I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole as it just gets me all riled up and I just finished dinner. First of all, I can’t help but wonder why I am so tired and it is only 10 Pm and we sprung forward, so I should be at 9 pm time. I am going to drive Techie to the airport before 5 am tomorrow as this very happy retiree is heading down to the Caribbean once again for a sailing adventure sans Peggy. I am going to be on my own for a while so any computer or appliance issues will have to be on hiatus till, he returns. Speaking of which I am happy to report that we are running our dishwasher for the first time since October tonight, yes it was only a few months old when it broke and since then it has served as a drying Rack. I washed the dishes and then just let them stack up and pretend they were going through the motions. Lover boy was on hiatus from the box for a while but last few weeks he has been cooking but most of all making a mess in the kitchen. While it was broken, we mostly had salads for dinner which basically meant cutting an iceberg lettuce in half and standing over the sink while we poured on the ranch dressing no dishes required. It took many tries to get the service guy here and with supply chain issues the parts never seemed to arrive, so they finally agreed to replace, and then they come and the new one doesn’t work. I felt bad for the guys we couldn’t even get upset with them, shit happens, just a lot more lately. Well, when one is fixed another goes south and now our ice maker is out and I can live without a dishwasher, but icemaker for my evening cocktails, from the words of Walter, “this aggression will not stand”. MacGyver already sent away and received two parts to fix it, first try it doesn’t work and no time for the second because he is busy packing. I will have to stop by the 7/11 and get a bag of ice to tide me over.
We are only into the first few weeks of March and already we can’t decide how to prepare for the day. One day it’s almost 60 “next day it’s 50 miles an hour winds and snowing, really flips on you, almost like my granddaughter Tilda, one minute sweet as can be and then on a dime and Mr. Hyde comes out. Luckily, she can be bribed and saving these performances for an academy award. I am hoping for some nice sunny weather for the next few weeks, as now we officially don’t have to wear masks in the city of Boston, and it is a bit weird, but heck I will take it.
I forgot how many Birthdays are in March and just too many to mention but the biggest is my namesake Maisie, aka Margaret after her incredible Grandma, my sister Debbie who is just one year older than yours truly., My second favorite niece Amy, Kyla one of my besties Granddaughter, plus her daughter Julia and of course Sean D has the same day. My great-niece Maya turned 21, my bestie Nancy and not sure how old, of course, if I don’t mention my sister-in-law Ellen, she may throw a hissy fit and I just can’t recall all this very minute so I would have to dig in on FB, but techie wants me to wrap this up as I am driving him very early in the morning. I am sad that I finished one of my British series last night and they killed off the main character when they signed off, very sad because they do that a lot, the Brits, I guess they won’t be back.
No worries We still have two more weeks of celebrations and I am sure there will be a lot more birthdays. Makes you wonder what is the big deal in and around June when all these babies are conceived and I am thinking it is the summer solstice that gets them horny.
Good evening my Corona friends. It has been 50 days since my last rant, so I guess I have been a bit lazy. Time has just been flying by compared to the beginning of the plague and we were in severe lockdown when it sure seemed to go very slow. I hate to say it but sometimes I miss those days, nowhere to go, pajamas all day, stock up on junk food, and binge-watch TV. So not much has changed here except I don’t need the depends for my long walks as I am happy to use public restrooms. For about 6 weeks during January and February, things got a bit crazy with people going into severe lockdowns again and frankly, I thought a bit paranoid. True people were getting Covid at a good clip but they all seemed to survive just fine. I did a lot of testing in the weeks and days coming up on my sailing vacation and was prepared to commit Hari Kari if I was barred from getting on a plane. Well, I can attest I am still here so first-world crisis avoided. I did manage to enjoy a fabulous sailing adventure in the BVI and hopefully made some new friends. There were ten of us on this sailing vessel and we only knew 2 of the people before agreeing to be in small quarters for over a week, but it was terrific. Imagine what having pain killers for breakfast beverages can do for your Psyche when breaking out of Covid. My roommate and I were just so thrilled to be there I don’t care how many times they wanted us to fill out forms and pledge our lives that we were vaccinated and virus free. Finally emerging from, the airport to have our old friend Matt pick us up and take us right out for a pain killer. I believe his words did you want to go for a drink at your nice hotel or a Dive bar nearby, well duh, is that a trick question? It was wonderful to see old friends on land for a few days. Mat and Kimberly have been locked down in Tortola since moving here a few years ago to teach. They had it much more serious in the beginning as they were not allowed out of their homes for two weeks and they didn’t have uber delivery set up yet. While visiting the island I decided I was going to set up shop with my new business of rapid covid tests at 100 bucks a pop. We got tested and each paid cash and then we get to the airport and the timing has changed now instead of 48 hours it’s 24, but no worries we have a Dr on call and came right over for a quick test and cash exchanged and on your way. When I got home to find that both Techie and I had received our free government tests, a lightbulb went off, lets collect as many as we can from everyone and head down to the Islands and administer the test for less. Surely this has become a revenue stream for people and they are cashing in while it lasts. I am applauding their resolve and clearly, they needed to generate some income. The islands were still reeling from a hurricane and then hit with a plague which really put a damper on the recovery. I will send all the Covid kits I can find.
Honestly, those two weeks away were heavenly and we almost felt normal, except for the times when we swam to shore from the boat and then tied to enter the T-shirt shop but were barred because of no mask.
Speaking of masks, Boston will officially end their mask mandate on March 5th, this weekend. I don’t get it that you announce a week ahead of time that 7 more days and rip it off, why not now? I guess I will have to get the lipstick out but wait I never wore lipstick, there is always time to learn a new skill. It may be a bit weird at first, not having to put on your mask to go to the restroom in a restaurant, relearning life before masks. But I for one am up for it and the question is what do I do with all the masks? If I was creative or knew how to sew, I could make a blanket or something, but for now, will just save them. I was happy and willing to wear them but now I may invite everyone for BONFIRE this summer. I just thought of something, I am giving up wearing a mask for Lent.
Just saying……………
And look what a great thing my friend Eva did with her website today!
Good evening my Corona, Delta, and Omicron friends and I hope you have all started the New year with a Bang and not a virus. I have resigned myself to getting it in some form or another and just believe my vaccines and booster and voodoo will get me through it. It seems every day someone I know is getting it. This seems to spread really fast but thankfully no one that I know has been seriously ill and I believe it is because we are vaccinated. I know we are doing the right thing wearing a mask taking all the precautions but damn I am sick of it, especially when I see those in our southern hemisphere just going about their business. I am not going all shut down again and yes have even been inside a restaurant, hope my kids aren’t reading this, they are much more cautious than me. We survived New Year, Day 666, and seems to have slid downhill, but today I read that the wastewater in Boston was showing less virus. Who would want that job? What do you do for a living? I comb through wastewater, enough said.
January 2nd my Vodka was empty and I haven’t replenished, was going for a “Dry January”, well not really intentionally but you know trying to keep up with the trend. My roommate brought back the food box so he has cooked a few meals, the dishwasher is still broken, and you know what a mess he makes while cooking, but he is trying. When this all started and we were doing a lot of take-out, we could add a few drinks to our order so I am going to have to get with “hello Fresh” to step up their game and include some nips in the box. I am sure biz would improve quite a bit if we could get all the ingredients needed to enjoy a nice dinner. We had our first official snow day of the season last Friday. It just wasn’t the same. They didn’t even preempt the morning shows to watch storm team 5, always cracks me up we have a morning off and we just have to watch reporters on the snowy highway, while I am missing Morning Joe. I used to love the snow day, forced to take a break and do some kind of cleanup you have been waiting to get to but we all have had a lot of days to reorganize these past few years. I honestly wished my closet reflected some of that organization but sadly it does not. I did clean out the drawers in the media cabinet and tossed out quite a bit, I don’t know who keeps filling it up. I swear it’s like gerbils multiplying in there, I thought they had left us. I did find a lot of newspaper articles, yes real newspaper, that I have stashed for the past few years almost all about travel destinations that I planned to visit and take techie with me of course, always need help with my devices. I always go for the travel section first and have been saving all these, hoping someday I would make it there. I started putting them all in a journal, and like baby journals in the past, off to a good start but hope to keep it current, hoping for the best. My roommate and I were off on a good clip before the plague hit and managed some pretty spectacular trips around the world, but like most people have been sidelined. I had hoped to be on the road at least a year ago. I want to keep going before I really am in adult diapers and not just Depends for the long Covid walks. I have it down for some stays in airstream parks out west, a cool place in Uruguay and of course, that bike ride in Croatia is still on the table for this September. We are so lucky that we just snagged a cabin on a sailing vessel in the BVI at the end of the month, Techie skills came in handy again they were looking for an experienced sailor. I already introduced myself to my cabin mates via email that I will be perched on the front trampoline of the Cat, reading my book and being served painkillers 24/7, sounds heavenly? I just need to get this Covid thing out of the way, as I surely don’t want to test positive on my way down but of course on the way out and they have to keep me a while, I will survive. I really hate to leave when the weather has been so lovely, I mean it was a high of negative 2 yesterday but the really great thing about temp being so low when it gets to 25 is it feels positively balmy like it did this afternoon. Sun was out, beautiful day and wastewater says it’s going down so all in all a good day.
Good evening my corona friends and I trust everyone is once again in a semi-lockdown mode with our newest friend Omicron overstaying its welcome. I had to cancel my annual New year’s dinner today with some of my closest friends and I am pissed, as we had to cancel last year as well, never believing it would be the same in 2021. Perhaps if we lived in Florida, it would still go on because I hear Disney is packed, cruise ships are sailing and they don’t mind if the variant joins them. Seriously we have been doing this New Year’s dinner for so many years and probably the only time we all stay up to 1 am, as we do the Fireworks at midnight on the harbor. 2019 was a particularly Joyful night as we ramped up the music and did some dancing before the fireworks, and remember we live in a small place so 20 people drinking and dancing get can pretty tight. I was cleaning up after everyone had left and dropped a knife that landed funny on my bare foot. It erupted like a little volcano and my roommate got all shook up that I might have hit an artery. After calling the hotline they said you better call 911 as it is 2 am and New Year’s Eve, ER will be full. Well, first we had the Detective in charge come in and make sure the EMTs could come in. My friend Pam was spending the night and she was nervous because the place may have smelled a bit like incense. I told her not to worry we were legal. Then came the cutest police officers, who gave the all-clear to let the EMTs enter. I immediately forgot about the injury and turned into my mother, two cute boys, and equally cute lady EMTs. Well, I tried to fix them up and offer a snack and a little respite from a busy night. Once they saw the size of the cut, they assured me that I would live. Anyway, a great end to the night and I have a framed picture of those lovely ladies on my bookcase. I was hoping to share it with my friends this New Year to remind them of happier times but not going to happen because of this uninvited guest showing up. I sat down tonight to write this blog and as I always do figure out the day and was a bit freaked out because tonight is day 664 and do you know what that makes NEW YEARS DAY 2022, Day 666 of the LIVINGINTHETIMEOFCORONA.COM blog…. I am not going to lie it is a bit concerning to me. The Universe might be sending me a message as the new Credit card I received after reporting one lost, has a security code of 666. I am not quite sure, am I living in hell, going to hell, or just the assholes that won’t get vaccinated going to hell? I am going with the latter and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. I know originally, I would say it was like living in the twilight zone but now I am not sure. Techie and I watched a movie the other night with my son Max 9 (the Emmy award winner) Last Night in Soho. It was a lot of flashbacks in another time but the nightmares were real and I think whoever wrote it got these weird and violent dreams from living under Covid, and we should all be disturbed and scared. I often can’t believe the shit going on in the world and sometimes wonder is it a nightmare or reality, I am not sure. I would like to end on a positive note and wish you all a very Happy New Year, and mask up and stay safe. Tomorrow night it will just be my lover, roommate, techie for an intimate dinner that I of course am cooking. Oh, and by the way, my 3-month-old dishwasher is broken and no one can come and fix it for a while, so techie would have had to wash a lot of dishes if we had guests, so do you think he had anything to do with this unwanted visitor? Just saying…………
Good evening my Corona friends and I hope you are well and safe, as the plague continues. Remember I budgeted this blog for 100 days and today marks it 550 days past due. True things have gotten better and then worse, not sure where it will end up for these next few weeks on the plague spectrum but we can only hope it won’t be that scary. We kind of blew by delta but this Omicron variant seems to spread a lot quicker and apparently you do need the booster for this one. I was trying to research how they come up with these names but quite frankly I lost interest in the whole Greek number explanation theory and figured they just didn’t want to be responsible for another brand kill. Seriously Corona beer was down but pretty sure on its way back and Delta seems to have all the bad ill-behaved passengers so Omicron it is for today.
Techie and I just trolled the neighborhood trying to find a place to get a little bite for dinner and you would never know there is a variant out there because every place was full, and not even a spot at the bar. My roommate is really beginning to annoy me, as when I arrive home, he is sitting there reading one of his weird blogs or something, but not thinking about what is for dinner. He always says I was planning on taking you out, but no reservations? I am going to sign up for the dinner box again after the first of the year, otherwise, I am going to turn into the biggest nag. I am the only one employed in this household and the only visible means of support, so best to take care of the breadwinner. This time of the year can really turn you into a scrooge, especially if you work in retail, doubly worse when you think of wearing a mask and wondering if this asshole is vaccinated. The last thing you want to do is go Christmas shopping not when you can pour your own double goose on the rocks and watch a few episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. Since we moved into our loft there is no room for a tree so I bring out my little driftwood tree with the lights on it and just plug it in, right next to my Menorah which I didn’t bother lighting this year. I did mention last month that I was heading to Puerto Rico with my whole family which includes 4 grandchildren all under 7 years old. Make 2 three-year-olds, 1 seven-year-old, and a 5-month baby and you got the makings of a “really Chill” vacation, NOT. Don’t get me wrong nothing gave me more pleasure to spend time with these guys but don’t call it a vacation, someone tweeted it is a trip, not a vacation. It was like there was a conspiracy as to which one was on the bad dream shift to wake up in the middle of the night, I think they drew straws every night as to whose turn for that night. They never disappointed and there was no sleeping through the night and 6 am was pretty much the wake-up time. I wonder if these kids will ever appreciate the beauty of a nap? It was the best trip and I did get to see my kids as incredible parents and I couldn’t believe their patience; they must have learned it from me. Well obviously, it worked out because we plan to visit NYC for a few days at Christmas and take in some shows. We are giving experiences for gifts this year, which includes Broadway and the Rockettes at Radio City. Of course, now with the new variant and raging plague that could all come to a halt and we will be back to Chinese food and a movie at home. Did I mention while on our trip down south for Thanksgiving we forgot to do groceries to cook at our VRBO and everything was closed on Thanksgiving Day? Luckily, we found a place that served the best fish tacos! Well, we will be sure to bring boxes of Annie’s mac and cheese so the kiddieswon’t go hungry and we are not ordering any more chicken nuggets, as they never eat them and I am sick of them, as I have to finish them. The best part of the vacation was we didn’t listen or watch any news so we only heard about the new variant on the last day. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is and not have to worry about “what did the asshole do today”. Love him or hate him, Biden doesn’t have diarrhea of the mouth and like to hear himself talk, so much more pleasant.
I want to share with all of you the best Obituary I came across today and I was thinking we should all be putting down some thoughts of how we want ours to look. As a friend once wrote about me that I would be remembered as not, here she comes and she is so nice but rather here she comes and look out because she is packing.
Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Happy New Year! Happy Kwanza!
Just saying………….
p.s. wear a mask in a crowd.
Renay Mandel Corren
Obituary
Renay Mandel Corren
El Paso, TX—A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday.
Of itself hardly news, or good news if you’re the type that subscribes to the notion that anybody not named you dying in El Paso, Texas is good news. In which case have I got news for you: the bawdy, fertile, redheaded matriarch of a sprawling Jewish-Mexican-Redneck American family has kicked it. This was not good news to Renay Mandel Corren’s many surviving children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, many of whom she even knew and, in her own way, loved. There will be much mourning in the many glamorous locales she went bankrupt in: McKeesport, PA, Renay’s birthplace and where she first fell in love with ham, and atheism; Fayetteville and Kill Devil Hills, NC, where Renay’s dreams, credit rating and marriage are all buried; and of course Miami, FL, where Renay’s parents, uncles, aunts, and eternal hopes of all Miami Dolphins fans everywhere, are all buried pretty deep. Renay was preceded in death by Don Shula.
Because she was my mother, the death of zaftig good-time gal Renay Corren at the impossible old age of 84 is newsworthy to me, and I treat it with the same respect and reverence she had for, well, nothing. A more disrespectful, trash-reading, talking and watching woman in NC, FL or TX was not to be found. Hers was an itinerant, much-lived life, a Yankee Florida liberal Jewish Tough Gal who bowled ’em in Japan, rolled ’em in North Carolina and was a singularly unique parent. Often frustrated by the stifling, conservative culture of the South, Renay turned her voracious mind to the home front, becoming a model stay at home parent, a supermom, really, just the perfect PTA lady, volunteer, amateur baker and-AHHAHAA HA! HA! HA! Just kidding, y’all! Renay – Rosie to her friends, and this was a broad who never met a stranger – worked double shifts with Doreen, ate a ton of carbs with Bernie, and could occasionally be stirred to stew some stuffed cabbage for the kids. She played cards like a shark, bowled and played cribbage like a pro, and laughed with the boys until the wee hours, long after the last pin dropped. At one point in the 1980’s, Renay was the 11th or 12th-ranked woman in cribbage in America, and while that could be a lie, it sounds great in print. She also told us she came up with the name for Sunoco, and I choose to believe this, too. Yes, Renay lied a lot. But on the plus side, Renay didn’t cook, she didn’t clean, and she was lousy with money, too. Here’s what Renay was great at: dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines. She said she read them for the articles, but filthy free speech was really Renay’s thing. Hers was a bawdy, rowdy life lived large, broke and loud. We thought Renay could not be killed. God knows, people tried. A lot. Renay has been toying with death for a decades, but always beating it and running off in her silver Chevy Nova. Covid couldn’t kill Renay. Neither could pneumonia twice, infections, blood clots, bad feet, breast cancer twice, two mastectomies, two recessions, multiple bankruptcies, marriage to a philandering Sergeant Major, divorce in the 70’s, six kids, one cesarean, a few abortions from the Quietly Famous Abortionist of Spring Lake, NC or an affair with Larry King in the 60’s. Renay was preceded in death by her ex-boyfriend, Larry King. Renay was also sadly preceded in death by her beloved daughter, Cathy Sue Corren Lester Trammel Webster, of Kill Devil Hills, NC, who herself was preceded in death by two marriages, a fudge shop and one eyeball lost in a near-fatal Pepsi bottle incident that will absolutely be explored in future obituaries. Losing her 1-eyed badass b**** of a daughter in 2007 devastated Renay, but it also made her quite homeless, since Cathy pretty much picked up the tab. A talented and gregarious grifter, Renay M. Corren eked out her final years of luxury (she literally retired at 62) under the care, compassion, checking accounts and, evidently, unlimited patience of her favorite son and daughter-in-law, Michael and Lourdes Corren, of world-famous cow sanctuary El Paso, TX. Renay is also survived by her son Jeffrey Corren and his endlessly tolerant wife Shirley, of Powell’s Point, NC; Scott Corren, and what’s left of his colon, of Hampton, VA; Marc and Laura Corren, the loveliest dirt farmers of Vernon, TX (seriously, where is that); and her favorite son, the gay one who writes catty obituaries in his spare time, Andy Corren, of – obviously – New York City. Plus two beloved granddogs, Mia and Hudson. Renay was particularly close to and grateful for the lavish attentions of her grandaughter Perla and her great-grandchildren Elijah and Leroy, as well as her constant cruise companions Sam Trammell of Greenville, NC, and Adam Corren of El Paso, TX. Renay took tremendous pride in making 1 gay son and 2 gay grandchildren, Sam Trammell and Adam Corren.
There will be a very disrespectful and totally non-denominational memorial on May 10, 2022, most likely at a bowling alley in Fayetteville, NC. The family requests absolutely zero privacy or propriety, none what so ever, and in fact encourages you to spend some government money today on a 1-armed bandit, at the blackjack table or on a cheap cruise to find our inheritance. She spent it all, folks. She left me nothing but these lousy memories. Which I, and my family of 5 brothers and my sister-in-laws, nephews, friends, nieces, neighbors, ex-boyfriends, Larry King’s children, who I guess I might be one of, the total strangers who all, to a person, loved and will cherish her. Forever. Please think of the brightly-frocked, frivolous, funny and smart Jewish redhead who is about to grift you, tell you a filthy joke, and for Larry King’s sake: LAUGH. Bye, Mommy. We loved you to bits.
RIP RENAY MANDEL CORREN 10 MAY 1937 – 11 DEC 2021
Posted online on December 15, 2021
Published in The Fayetteville Observer, Funerals Today
Good evening my corona friends. I can’t believe 45 days have gone by and we are still living in a world where the plague is still the top news story and people are still whining and complaining about getting a jab. But this is the new world order and bullshit on the internet is where people prefer to get their medical advice and I don’t see anything changing. I have ranted enough about this so I am just going to move on and hope one day they all pull their heads out of their asses and be done with all the bullshit.
I am thinking this is certainly not what I expected when I started to blog that I would have a day 619 as I budgeted for 100 days and thought for sure that it wouldn’t go this long but here we are. My two granddaughters have both lived half their lives under corona. In their classrooms at daycare, they all look like ninja turtles with their little masks. The thing is for them they are so used to it they don’t even think it’s strange and that is what is weird. I am happy that they both live in communities that support mask-wearing and look forward to the day when it is over. Charlie is seven and he just got his jab and he was more excited about the skittles and the glasses they gave him than anything else but he wanted it as he is a bit more nervous about corona. On one hand, I really don’t like that they see this as normal, but then I am just grateful they can go with it, and someday they will look back at all these pictures and think it must have been a two-year costume party.
Techie and I recently ventured across the country to attend my nephew’s wedding and I loved getting on that plane, felt almost normal even with the mask. I have been tripled vaxxed, flu shot, and a vodka trip so I feel pretty safe traveling. Of course, we land in San Francisco the day they are experiencing a cyclone bomb and the pilot told us to hang on for the landing, but actually, it wasn’t even that bad. So what if it was raining so hard and debris was flying on our ride down the coast, we had made it across the country, and had been way too long since we had traveled. The next day was beautiful and we met up with our Memphis cousins and headed to Big Sur which is my favorite place on the planet. Techie and I have been more than a few times and I do remember we may have even camped in another life. Well, we weren’t quite camping this time but it was a cabin, no room service, and no internet connection. Imagine we had to follow trail maps and just depend on Dorothy’s research and dinner reservations, good thing we had a planner. I pretty much like to just wing it and see what happens, but it was just great. A few days later we checked into a swanky hotel in San Francisco for the wedding and to my great chagrin no room service or spa treatments, oh the world can be such a cruel place sometimes. I loved that the restaurants in the city always demanded a vaccination card and ID to match, I feel much better not being next to the great unwashed. The wedding was a smashing event and even got to kick up our heels and do a little dancing, techies favorite.
Saturday night we even ventured out to an indoor venue for some live music and saw Mayer Hawthorne, maybe the oldest ones there by at least 20 years but who cares I have always loved the music. Started out with a lot of masked attendees but I found it hard to drink through that hole in my mask. I am trying to be cautious but also live a life here and am glad I live where I do but not perfect.
At the end of this week, we are all heading to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving as our kids surprised us with a trip in support of Techies retirement. Finally paying off after all these years I knew one day they would come through and start taking care of the “olds’. Couldn’t come at a better time as he had to take his boat out of the water and wrap it for the winter, no pit stops this winter. Let’s hope that VRBO they rented lives up to its pictures but even if a shed I will take it because I will be with Charlie, Maisie, Tilda, and the ever-new baby Gibster, just can’t wait to be with all my favorites. I think I may be the luckiest person on earth and for a short time I can even feel love for the assholes, but it won’t last.
Good evening my Corona friends and hope everyone is doing well this evening as the weather starts to turn a bit brisk and this 30th day of September. When the weather is beautiful and you can be outside for most activities including dining, you almost can forget about the pandemic. Is this the reason people down in Florida choose to ignore it? We are well past a year when the shit hit the fan and yes things are different but we still are unsure if it is totally safe to just assume our normal or what we would pass for normal lives again. Techie and I have both had a booster, he may need one and I was not really authorized for one yet but just signed up and got one anyway. I heard on NPR a few weeks ago on a call into Doctor that the booster wasn’t really necessary as it was like throwing you another life jacket when you already had one. Well let me tell you in this climate with all the crazies, I will take that extra life jacket. We were doing a walkabout our beautiful city last Sunday when we came across an anti-vax rally, and it is their body and their choice, except in Texas, blah, blah, blah. I casually asked a couple walking by if they ever got vaccinated as a kid and they promptly flipped me off and had a few choice words. It’s not like they ae protesting an unjust war, they probably see it that way, but seriously is it any different than getting your school vaccinations? Where is that outrage? Oh yes, that was before people got their medical advice from some cable news network or some bullshit on Facebook, or the Q people. We have made tremendous progress with literacy in this country and now if we could just get them to lose the remote. I me myself have become even loonier than I ever thought possible because I dream of natural selection on these jerks. I am not going to be kind and try to understand them any longer, why would I want to? If I hear one more person say they haven’t done enough research again, which means they have only looked at the crazy’s website, I want to toss my cookies. I am ashamed to admit that I actually know some of these people and I use to like them and think they were normal but now recognize that they have been taken over by some alien force and removed any rational thinking part of their brain. Sad to say that I don’t give a shit enough to try and save them, they still think the election is stolen and that Orange idiot is coming back.
On the other hand, things are going very well here Techie is in very good health and seems to be enjoying this retirement thing way more than I expected. I asked him last week to find a new dry cleaner for a few things that have been in the dry cleaning bag for a year and they are still sitting near the door. His errands to the Post office take up a lot of his time, and he does want to enjoy his sailboat to the very last day before it will have to get wrapped for the winter. I am happy that he is enjoying his new schedule but kind of disappointing when I get home from work and my dinner is not waiting for me, did I mention we canceled the box? I am going to bring the box back when our patio dining ends in a month or so, or when the weather seizes to cooperate. Right now our dishwasher broke and if you are a consumer in today’s world you know what that means, they can fix it or replace it and it may be 3 days or six months, fingers crossed. I think I have seen the same news story for the past few weeks of all the containers backed up in Long Beach and oh and yes they mention many times about buying your Christmas toys now because there is going to be a lot of coal in their stockings this year, as it just can’t get here. I heard today a toy or novelty company said they paid $4,000 for a container and today they had to pay $24,000 to get a boatload of crap over here of stuff we don’t need made in China. I decided to forget about the stuff and we will give experiences and force my kids and grandkids to spend time with us for their present. I am not sure my Grandkids will appreciate massages and room service and might be a bad idea to introduce it at this age, as where do you go from here, but hey it’s a pandemic and I might not be around that long. Of course, I am not stupid and I will have to cave as well. My Charlie really likes to drum and I think he needs a major drum set this holiday season and of course, we will keep it at his house as I have no room in my one-room apartment, and actually, I can satisfy all the grandkids with some good old fashioned junk food, the sky’s the limit night at our place to cement our place in their hearts.
September 30, 2021, is a big day here in our household as it is Tilda’s 3rd Birthday and I have no idea how three years slipped by so fast, so happy birthday Tilda!!! I also have to give a very big shout-out to Tilda’s dad my son Max who was nominated and also won an Emmy for Technical camera work on the John Oliver show. Max has a company that builds drones and all those years That Techie took him to the field to fly the model planes and shoot off the rockets paid off in the end. I want you all to pay close attention to the title of the episode because this is what made his Momma most proud. Life goes on in this crazy world we now occupy.
Happy Birthday, Tilda!!! Congratulations Max and be sure to say you owe it all to your amazing Mom!!!
Good evening my corona friends ad sad to say that we are well over 500 days into this Covid thing and now we are back to wearing a mask. It seems neither the chlorine bleach nor Ivermectin in any amount is going to make this virus go away. Seriously folks why would you rely on something you can buy at CVS or Tractor supply to cure Covid-19, and refuse the advice of epidemiologists whose job it is to study infectious diseases in humans, not horses or cows. It is really beyond the pale and just when I think it can’t get any weirder I saw Jordan Klepper interview a woman at a Trump rally who will never get vaccinated because she follows Dr. Tenpenny who believes that their bodies are becoming magnetized and forks and knives are sticking to their faces, that’s right she was testifying in the Ohio statehouse and you just can’t make this shit up. The truth is it would be great comedy if people didn’t believe it, and I am just going to say what a lot of people are thinking there are a whole lot of dumbasses in the world. I know we are supposed to be kind and listen to other points of view but in these instances and in also the Clorox and animal drugs, just plain stupid. We have a lot to worry about with the plague, fires, and wars, and now throw in a major hurricane, try and tell me that someone didn’t majorly piss off the big guy upstairs?
I never thought that forty years ago to the day when my roommate and I brought this tiny human into the world that we would be setting her for this craziness. The worst things we had to worry about were gas prices and mortgage rates, which by the way were extremely high by today’s standards, our first mortgage was 12% now they whine if it gets to 4%. I tell you what I am sure we could live with those rates if you could make all that other shit go way. We have succeeded in abusing the planet for the next generations, but don’t worry climate change is not real, just ask a Republican? Unless he is not running for reelection.
August 31, 1981, just five minutes before midnight we welcomed our incredibly beautiful daughter into the world. Let me tell you things were a bit different then and this is when you wanted to go El Natural, meaning no drugs, I still think about how crazy were we with this crazy idea that we should go through labor and delivery with no drugs. I can remember being in that birthing room with techie and the Dr talking about sailing, while my contractions were coming fast and furious and what came out of my mouth when I told them in no uncertain terms, I don’t want to hear about it, in a very colorful manner. The young resident took out a sandwich in the room that night and I screamed at him if he wasn’t sharing he better put it away. I do feel bad about that, because I realized later that he was just exhausted and hungry, just like me, but not having a baby. I don’t know what it is like today and wasn’t quite the same 4 years later when Max arrived but it was pretty cool having the “birthing room” where we could chill out and make our phone calls in the wee hours of the morning. We were some of the first in our friend group to have a baby so we had to share with everyone that night, imagine calling a friend at 2 am today when you get to be my age you have to double-check after 9 pm. Our friend Donald won the night when he asked me “is it really like shitting a pumpkin?” I always wanted to ask someone that is what he said, and I said that pretty much sums it up. Of course, the second-best thing that happened to me that night after delivering Erica was getting wheeled into a room in the middle of the night that I would share with my new best friend, Nancy. I don’t believe they have you share rooms today, at least if you have good insurance, but you are missing out. Today they want the new dad in the room for the whole experience but ladies there is nothing better than having a roommate with a curtain between you and your conversations are on hemorrhoids and stitches. Nancy’s baby girl came more than a month early that morning and lucky for the both of us,
Because we would never have met. I still remember Nancy pulling that curtain back in the early dawn and saying that is what you look like. So as luck would have it, I not only came home with an absolutely incredible daughter but a friend for life, and yes the girls are great friends as well.
I can’t believe that I have a daughter who is turning forty, but more importantly, I can’t believe I have a daughter as incredible as Erica. Often I am in wonder how such a polite, sweet, and compassionate human is my daughter? I know most people will say there is the roommate who had something to do with this person she has become and I will give him some credit. But I think she did it on her own with maybe a little sauciness from her mother, at least we know where she got her potty mouth from, yes not perfect.
Erica my roommate and I are wishing you the most Glorious Birthday and we are so very proud of the incredible person and mother that you are today. Charlie and Maisie are really going to need some guidance through this whacky world we live in today and they couldn’t have a better steward than you. We love you Mucho!!!
